


Dedication

by Rae_of_Light



Series: Lifetimes [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Author! Kim Jongin | Kai, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Lives, Romantic Soulmates, Soul Bond, Soulmate- Identifying Glowing Hearts, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13285161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae_of_Light/pseuds/Rae_of_Light
Summary: Where Jongin became a popular writer, unknown to all that his books are about his previous lives that he can perfectly recall. But, in all of those lives, he & his soulmate never had their happy ending, until a fan’s book copy has a dedication that says, “Sorry I took so long.”Prompt creds to @kaisooprompts on twitter.





	Dedication

The sun shimmered on the surface of the water. It was crystal clear and a stunning shade of blue, looking at it Jongin thought to himself that maybe, for a hideout, this place wouldn’t be that bad. He could spend his final years lazing by the coast and soaking up sun, with his soulmate right beside him. Compared to how hectic his life had been before he defected this would be a welcome change.  
  
As their boat began its approach to the coast, he took Kyungsoo’s hand and intertwined their fingers. This would be the start of their happily ever after, something that had been quite literally lifetimes in the making. He’d cursed this body’s father so many times for forcing him to be a part of his lifestyle, yet it hadn’t helped. This round he’d been born into a life of organised crime where loyalty meant everything, and trust meant nothing. That was the truest statement he’d ever heard.  
  
Only the higher ups were allowed to have children and soulmates, everyone else had to be a lone wolf so as to ensure their loyalty. In that sense Jongin had been lucky, he could have his soulmate. People had always told him he’d been lucky for being born into “such a respectable family”. What a joke. If that was true they wouldn’t be here hiding for their lives. In hopes of the number of days left on their counters not dropping drastically any lower.  
  
Before they had met the counter had marked the amount days they had until they saw each other for the first time, now it marked how many days they had left together, alive. Certain actions could reduce it, and some could extend it. For example, the day that the assassination attempt on a certain Do Kyungsoo was finalised Jongin’s soulmate counter had dropped to 1 day. He’d never been more scared in his entire life, or more grateful to suit jackets, for that matter.  
  
The next day when, as expected, his timer went off as he was pointing a gun to his soulmates head, he also found one against his. In the end they’d made it out and had now several years later found themselves on this boat, with both counters reading 44 years.  
  
The sweet sense of relief flooded through his veins as they took their first steps on land in months. The sunlight that was beating down on them was scorching but there was nothing that could ruin this moment. It was too perfect, with their hands intertwined and their steps in time, it felt like he’d finally been given the freedom he’d craved for so damn long and no one was taking that away from him.  
  
In his state of bliss, he hadn’t noticed the numbers slowly erase themselves from his wrist. 16 thousand and 60 days vanished and were replaced by an ominous 0. He didn’t know, he couldn’t have. But as he soaked up Kyungsoo’s profile and heart smile on the soft, white sand beach they stood on, it would be for the last time.  
  
Something with the frequency of a high pitch whistle flew past his ear and embedded itself in his soulmate’s head. Everything from that point onwards seemed to happen simultaneously in slow motion and at x4 speed. He saw the bullet fly towards him but didn’t have time to do anything before a it found itself in his head too.  
  
As the two pools of blood began to spread over the previously pristine sand, it seemed clear that maybe Jongin just wasn’t destined for a happy ending after all.  
  
\--- Present Day  
  
Tears were spilling from Chanyeol’s eyes as he closed the book, “Why the fuck would you make me read that?”  
  
“Because it’s beautiful and I wanted to see you in pain?” Kyungsoo was thoroughly enjoying this. ‘Counting the Days” was one of his all-time favourite books and spreading it was one of his lifelong goals so of course he was going to make his cry baby friend read it.  
  
“What kind of fucked up person writes that? Does this,” Chanyeol flipped the book over to see his name, “Kim Jongin guy not have a soulmate himself?”  
  
Kyungsoo pondered the prospect for a minute. It hadn’t really crossed his mind before, probably because it wasn’t any of his business. “I don’t know, you ask him.”  
  
“Wait if the author is called Jongin, why’d he name the main character Jongin?”  
  
“Because he’s self-absorbed? How am I supposed to know?” As much as he hated to admit it Park Chanyeol could really ask questions he had no idea how to answer, “The concept of the books is that in every life that this man, Jongin, lives through, despite how different the soulmate pair’s lives are they always find each other. It’s sweet.”  
  
“People can’t remember their past lives.”  
  
“I hate to break it to you bud, but it’s fiction”  
  
“It’s evil that’s what it is.” Chanyeol pouted and pulled out his phone to probably call his boyfriend, Baekhyun for comfort.  
  
Baekhyun and Chanyeol were soulmates, which surprises pretty much no one when they find out. Though it had been a bit surprising when their soulmarks decided to reveal themselves. They had the rare glowing heart soulmark that well…glows when one of the soulmates lays eyes on the other for the first time. They were playing laser tag (in almost pitch black) when they met. Kyungsoo swears he went blind for a week afterwards and even worse, now he had to listen to them being sappy. All. The. Time.  
  
Unsurprisingly Chanyeol had indeed called Baekhyun. With a final glower in Kyungsoo’s direction he stalked out of the room. Chuckling, he pulled out his phone and started scrolling through twitter. The usual shit was going down. Like, purposely mistranslating an idol’s words of comfort to a fan in order to start a fan war and forgetting the golden rule “not your fandom, not your problem” put a sour taste in his mouth. No one deserved to be treated like this. It was appalling.  
  
As he was about to close the cursed app he noticed a schedule update from Kim Jongin’s PR team. There was going to be a book signing tomorrow. He couldn’t help but feel a bit bitter. Lucky fans getting to get their book signed and what does Kyungsoo get? Nothing. Yeah, it was located fairly close by if he went by bus but it’s not like he could afford to go. Life was cruel.  
  
Regardless he kept scrolling through the whole statement. It was short and got to the point, but he still couldn’t quite believe it. The signing was free to the general public? When was the last time this happened? 6 years ago, with his first book? Kyungsoo had no words. Well there was no excuses, he had to go.  
  
Closing his phone, he strolled over to his bookshelf and pulled out his copy of Jongin’s first book, “The Strength of Your Embrace”. Kyungsoo remembered reading it for the first time. It had been so sweet and heart-wrenching, it felt like he had actually been there. It hadn’t helped that one of the characters actually had his name. As he flicked through the book he reached the first kiss. It had been so warm and pure, and pretty much summed up everything he wanted his first kiss with his soulmate to be like.  
  
But unfortunately, he still had a whole 394 days left. Well that’s what it had been. His soulmark on his wrist was tingling. In disbelief he looked down and saw days upon days being erased. He had just one day left now. It didn’t make any sense, but he was elated. He may or may not have squealed loud enough for Chanyeol to run back out and ask him what was wrong.  
  
Kyungsoo’s smile was so big and bright is almost covered his entire face, “Tomorrow, I’m meeting my soulmate!”  
  
\---  
  
After being put through lifetimes upon lifetimes of pain one would have thought that Kim Jongin would begin to dread the day he met his soulmate again, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, just like the first time, it gave him Goosebumps and put butterflies in his stomach. He loved falling in love with Kyungsoo. The warmth it brought him was worth the pain and if he had choice to end the cycle and never see him again, Jongin knew he wouldn’t take it. He was selfish, and he knew it, but it was like an addiction. He knew it was bad for him, yet he kept coming back. Kyungsoo was his Soulmate and he was never letting go.  
  
The book signing went slowly but that was to be expected. Jongin was practically a ball of anticipation and adrenaline. He was pretty sure if he saw Kyungsoo he might just jump out of his seat and kiss him then and there. He checked his counter, 26 minutes left. Frantically he was looking around trying to see him, but he was nowhere to be found. Well then again that made sense if Jongin was remembering him correctly. Kyungsoo was probably just too short to be seen in the crowd.  
  
“Mr Kim? What’s so funny?”  
  
He may have forgotten that there was a reading in front of him. Wait…did he really laugh out loud? Whelp. “Nothing. What can I do for you?”  
  
“Why do you insert yourself in your books?”  
  
“Why shouldn’t I?”  
  
That stumped the girl, they laughed together before he moved onto the next reader half-heartedly.  
  
After all, he was rather distracted, ‘ _Only 22 minutes left, where are you?_ ’  
  
\---  
  
Kyungsoo was drowning in a sea of people. 11 minutes left, and he still didn’t have an inkling about who his soulmate was. Well technically he had 6 books worth on knowledge on who is soulmate _could_ be but there was no way to be sure. He was so excited that he probably looked like he was jacked up on something, but it really didn’t matter because “OMG IM GOING TO MEET MY SOULMATE IN 9 MINUTES!”  
  
The person in front of him turned around and with a monotone voice responded, “Wow that’s really exciting for you. Now please shut up.”  
  
Kyungsoo didn’t listen and just kept bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet trying to see who his soulmate could be. This was going to be the best day of his life, it didn’t matter if things didn’t work out later because if his soulmate was anything like Kyungsoo the character’s soulmate, it would be worth it 100%.  
  
9 minutes can feel like an eternity to the impatient and right then that’s what he was. Patience is futile when you know that in just a few minutes you’ll be staring your future right in the face. As the seconds trickled by, it only got more painful but Kyungsoo managed.  
  
With 30 seconds left he was at the front of the line. Maybe it was a security guard? As he hopelessly began looking everywhere except his actual soulmate, Jongin smirked.  
  
There Kyungsoo was looking as handsome as the day they first met. Jongin was ready to begin again, he just hoped Soo was too.  
  
5  
  
4  
  
3  
  
2  
  
1  
  
They made eye contact and the timer went off but Kyungsoo wasn’t listening. He was lost in the pools of Jongin’s beautiful brown eyes. They were soft and sweet and full of so many unreadable emotions but there was one as plain as day, elation.  
  
He smiled as brightly as the sun, “Hi there, Soulmate, what’s your name?”  
  
“…. uhm…Do Kyungsoo?”  
  
“Well then Kyungsoo, shall we get out of here?”  
  
Kyungsoo chuckled awkwardly, “Sure?”  
  
Before Jongin got out of his seat, he spoke one last time into the mic. “I’m sorry guys but as you probably heard something,” he glanced over at his soulmate lovingly, “rather important just came up.”  
  
He hopped over table because walking was too much effort and gestured for Kyungsoo to follow him. So, they met again, what could go wrong this time?  
  
\---  
  
They were sitting together on a bench not too far away from the signing, shoulders barely touching. Kyungsoo felt bad because he had no idea what to say. There were only two things running through his mind and one was an endless scream of excitement and shock. The other was something a little bit graver. How could he just ask him, his soulmate who he had just met if he remembered him? That wasn’t something you brought up in casual conversation. So, he did the only thing he had the mental capacity for at that moment. He stared at the building across the road.  
  
Jongin noticed. It would have been rather hard for him to not have noticed. Kyungsoo had been looking anywhere but him for a good 5 minutes. He knew it wasn’t because of the counter either because none of them had checked. Did Kyungsoo not want him in this life? It made sense, he hadn’t looked too thrilled when the timer went off. He’d read the books, obviously. That’s why he’d written them in the first place. If that’s why Soo was acting like this, it backfired didn’t it?  
  
Jongin waved a hand in front of his soulmates face to get his attention, “Are you okay? You haven’t said much.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking.”  
  
Jongin was swinging his legs back and forth whilst rubbing his thighs. This was painful. They’d never been this awkward before. “About what?”  
  
Kyungsoo’s entire body language changed instantly. He turned around and faced Jongin almost dead on. Before he wasn’t going to bring it up but seeing as the other asked… He spoke solemnly, “I was just wondering if you actually remembered”  
  
“Oh...” He couldn’t even pretend to be shocked.  
  
“…yeah”  
  
“No one can remember their past lives. It’s impossible.”  
  
“Oh” Kyungsoo’s face fell and they lapsed back into silence for a while before he piped up again. “Is it really impossible though?”  
  
“Yes, when you die, and the grim reaper takes you, you go to this place where you drink this tea that erases your memories”  
  
“Isn’t that from Goblin, the drama?”  
  
“You noticed?”  
  
Jongin pouted as Kyungsoo playfully hit his arm, “Obviously I did idiot!” His mood went sombre again, “For a piece of fiction your books were pretty accurate...” Glancing at his soulmate he smiled for the first time, “Jongin and Kyungsoo, soulmates that find each other in every life”  
  
Jongin whipped his head around so fast he was lucky not to break anything. “Wha-at?” His thoughts were a mess, ‘ _He remembers?_ ’ was the only coherent sequence of words he could form.  
  
“You know how those characters always fall in love despite their situations? I hope we turn out like them”  
  
Jongin was taken aback, clearly Kyungsoo didn’t remember because if he did he would remember that their dreams never ended up fulfilled. Why would he want to end up like that? “The books never ended happy.”  
  
“Then we can make our own ending.” Kyungsoo’s eyes were crescents and his smile was a heart and in that moment Jongin was sure that he had never seen something purer in his entire life.  
  
Tears were welling in his eyes, “That we can.” It didn’t matter that his soulmate couldn’t remember him, it was probably for the best anyway, because they could make their own future. Things wouldn’t go downhill this time he was sure of it.  
  
As the sun began to set compelled by a thousand years’ worth of regret Jongin took Kyungsoo’s face in his palms and kissed him. Just like the first time. It was everything Soo had dreamed of and more it was perfect and beautiful and sweet. Just like his soulmate.  
  
\--- 23 years later  
  
The sensation of losing a soulmate is the worst feeling imaginable and not only because you know you’ll never see them again. You feel everything they feel in their final moments. Which seems okay on paper, particularly with couples who have been together for their entire life and pass away after 80 years due to old age fulfilled and painless.  
  
But for pairs who have a traumatic, sudden death. There is really no way to express it. No one is ever ready to lose a loved one.  
  
And once again, their counter had betrayed them.  
  
Jongin had felt the days erase themselves suddenly at 3:29pm. It hadn’t made sense just that morning it had read 33 years but now it was slowly ticking its way down to 0.  
  
If he knew he would have… he would have… Jongin didn’t know what he would have done but he was sure that he would have done _something_ different. Maybe he’d have stopped him from going to work or maybe he would have told him he loved him one last time or kissed him for longer than a small peck on the cheek. But what was the point of thinking about that now.  
  
And then he couldn’t think. He was trapped in Kyungsoo’s head getting ready for the worst 15 seconds of this life. At least in his last life he hadn’t have time to go through this.  
  
Kyungsoo was driving at a reckless speed and their seemed to be nothing in his head other than a strong desire to protect. But what did he want to protect? He shouldn’t have been turning this direction in the first place.  
  
What had he seen?  
  
Why was he always so selfless?  
  
Then Jongin saw it. An out of control bus heading straight towards a group of unsuspecting school students going too fast to break. Jongin knew what his soulmate was intending to do. Floor it and get in front to stop it.  
  
Jongin was crying and so was Kyungsoo. This was it.  
  
On impact Jongin felt his muscles tense and bones shatter.  
  
His head was flung forward, the airbag didn’t deploy.  
  
Kyungsoo’s scull fractured as it collided with the steering wheel.  
  
Jongin wanted out.  
  
He didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with the rest of this.  
  
He blanked his mind, completely shutting it off.  
  
He was back inside his own body now, tears streamed down his face.  
  
They’d been so much happier this life. It had been their longest too. He’d really thought that maybe this was the one. But it wasn’t.  
  
Maybe there wouldn’t be one, ever.  
  
“Where’s Daddy?”  
  
Jongin wiped his eyes. He couldn’t afford to be weak, this lifetime there was people who needed him.  
  
The little girl had popped her head out from behind her bedroom door. Her bangs covered one of her eyes. Her blue dressed was covered in mud and there were drawings all up and down her arms. She was too young and innocent to lose a parent.  
  
Jongin had to be strong for her. She’d already lost her birth parents and now Kyungsoo. If Jongin lost himself to grief again, what would become of her? He couldn’t risk it. “He’ll be home soon sweetie” He brushed her fringe out of her eye, “Now let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”  
  
He took her hand and walked her to the bathroom. “What are those drawings on your arms?”  
  
Her answered was wide eyed and stated matter-of-factly, “They just appeared. That’s what I wanted to talk to Daddy about.” She leaned closer to Jongin and whispered, “I think they’re my soulmarks.”  
  
Jongin didn’t think anything, he knew. Her soulmark allowed markings on the skin to be transferred between soulmates. These occurrences were the kind that were supposed to be celebrated with the entire family. Yet she never would be able to experience that… and it broke his heart.  
  
Later after he’d tucked her into bed with a kiss and a lullaby, he went through their bookshelf. He’d always thought it was sweet that Kyungsoo had decided to keep his books even after they’d moved in together. Jongin ran his fingers across the spines until he found the one he was looking for.  
  
Its spine was so bent that it was almost broken, and a couple of the pages were dog eared. “The Strength of Your Embrace” was a well-loved book and just by looking at the cover you could tell that. It was his first work and it was about their first life together. He treasured it and clearly his soulmate had as well.  
  
He flicked through the aged pages until something fell out. It was marked on the page of their first kiss, a message. From Kyungsoo. It was dated 5 years ago. The day they adopted their little girl.  
  
“ _My Love Jongin,_  
  
_You’ve dedicated so many books and things to me. I thought it would be only fair for me to do the same for once._  
  
_So, I dedicate this message and my love to you._  
  
_I know the weight of the secret you hold, I’ve know about it for quite some time”_  
  
Despite the ache in his heart he couldn’t suppress the small, fleeting smile that crossed Jongin’s face. This was so like Kyungsoo, to use such profounds words and sentence fragments to makehim miss him even more.  
  
“ _I always knew deep down that you remembered, and I respect why you never told me._  
  
_I’m sorry it took so long for me to say I did._  
  
_But now that we go into the next phase of our lives together I hope you know that you can always lean on me._  
  
_I’ll always be here for you._  
  
_I love you,_  
  
_Kyungsoo”_  
  
It wasn’t explicitly there but Jongin knew what he meant. A tear trickled down his cheek. Stupid Kyungsoo.  
  
He wasn’t here, and he wouldn’t be until their next life.  
  
With a glance at his sleeping daughter’s bedroom door.  
  
Jongin hoped that wouldn’t happen for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a ride to write so I hope you all enjoyed it  
> If you did...  
> This fic is the first in my series "Lifetimes"  
> It will be a oneshot series each featuring a different life they spent together.  
> It wont necessarily always be their meeting and demise.  
> Who knows I might even make it fluffy??  
> As always feedback would be loved and accepted, especially on characterisation
> 
> P.S.  
> I dont have a twitter and I know the prompt page i got it from likes to be linked so could someone do that please and credit me.  
> It's only fair to the account because of course this wasn't just my brain child.  
> They're @kaisoopromptson twitter in case you missed that earlier.


End file.
